Sponge Unworthy
January 21st, 2005
It has been two months since our last alert, but we here at the Center for the Study of the Sexuality of Fictional Characters With No Apparent Gentalia have recently been informed that Spongebob Squarepants is gay. And not just in the carefree way.
This should have been obvious to us before because he is thin, neat, and unmarried, but it had not occurred to us at CSSFCWNAG that his relationship with Sandy Cheeks might be a ruse to cover for his more furtive proclivities.
We are re-doubling our efforts to monitor the activities of other cartoon characters. While we haven’t received independent confirmation yet, we fear that the Powerpuff Girls might be lesbians.
Categories: Religion