Small Progress
I am not a physically imposing person. Once, in junior high, my mother was asked by a friend’s mother what my “sport” was. Her answer, “I guess chess.”
I now bike alot in the spring, but that’s about it. I have in the past played soccer with my fellow programmers over lunch, but I am horrible at it. I cannot pass or dribble or shoot properly. I stay back on defense and watch it whiz past me into the goal. Usually but someone barely breaking a sweat.
I am sub-optimal at golf and bowling too–two sports that are supposedly not difficult for middle-aged men.
Our family went bowling Sunday with another family who adopted with us from Vietnam. We now both have three kids. The adults bowled in one lane and 4/6ths of the kids bowled in the next lane over. We got one of the few 6 pound balls in the place for them.
It was obviously a non-competitive venue, but I had a personal goal for the afternoon. I wanted to beat my last score in golf. If you think that would be easy for anyone, then you haven’t seen me bowl or play golf. The last time I played golf, I shot a 117. That counts every swing, even when I missed the ball or when it just moved a few feet. I am horrible, but I play honestly.
I had never bowled over 117, so it was stretch goal for me. My wife insisted that my two-year-old bowl with me as she wasn’t bowling with the school-age kids. Claire “helped” me go to the line and release the ball. It took 25 seconds for the ball to make it down the lane, before it knocked down 3 pins. This was good for Claire, but at that rate I had no chance to reach my goal. We then decided that Claire would play when it was Chris’s turn. Chris didn’t care what her scored would be. I will acknowledge that she is a better person.
For most of the other frames, I bowled for myself. It was a squeaker, but with a spare in frame 10, I ended up with a final score of 120! Yeehaw!
I know my athletic ability sounds pathetic, but wait: the complete truth is worse.
That 117 golf score was for JUST NINE HOLES. I. Am. Truly. Bad.
Feel better? You can continue reading when you are done laughing.
The bowling score of 120 was with the gutter bumpers in place.
At least, I’m honest.