claire
journal
I kept a web page (and later, a web log) while preparing
and traveling to China in 2003 to adopt Claire. I’ve pieced
the entries back to together and removed most of the typos
and put it here. Enjoy. A few travel companions joined in
contributing to the web log while in China and many people
back home left comments, but for the sake of brevity, most
of their comments are not included.
12/26/2002 04:55:02 PM: Hitting the bottles again
We submitted our paperwork to China November 2001. The
group of single women who submitted their paperwork a few
days ahead of us received their referrals a few weeks ago.
Sensing the impending news, Chris has broken out the baby
bottles, baby spoons and diapers. Oh my it has been awhile
since I saw those.
12/27/2002 05:12:12 PM: The Call
As it was the end of the year and I had a few days of
vacation to waste, Chris took this rare opportunity to go
into work while I watched the girls. I really don’t like to
use vacation for the sole purpose of exchanging primary
parental duties, but it allowed me to get the call instead
of her.
Our agency got a call from the China’s adoption center that
our group of five couples had received referrals. No real
information though: no names, ages or locations. That
information will come in the next few days.
12/28/2002 05:14:06 PM: Crib note
We celebrated the anniversary of Katie’s "Gotcha Day" with
two other couples who adopted along with us four years ago.
One of the couples, the Kuzma’s, will be adopting with us
again. It seemed the Kuzma’s and my wife were trying to
convince the other couple to adopt again—I believe
unsuccessfully. We watched the trip video and reminisced.
We discussed possible names, but Chris and I have yet to
agree on a name, but Katie (I suppose in honor of our cats
Bam Bam and Dino) wants to give her the name "Pebbles."
Marissa, other the hand, wants to call her "Alleluia."
12/29/2002 05:17:18 PM: Gorges child
Chris received an e-mail from our agency guide, Zhou, that
we will be adopting from the Chongqing Fuling First Social
Welfare Institute. There are large number of adoptions from
that area because of the massive Three Gorges Dam that is
going in that will flood a large portion of the mountainous
region and more than a million people will be displaced.
12/30/2002 05:22:46 PM: Her name is Kang
Information keeps trickling in. Her name is Fu Dekang, born
on May 7th. Her health status is normal. At five months she
was 24 inches long and 13 pounds. It looks like travel is
likely to be last few days in February through the first
few weeks in March when she is around 10 months old.
12/31/2002 05:27:27 PM: FedEx delivers our baby
We received our referral packet with several forms and
instructions. It contained three pictures, the best two are
here and
here.
01/01/2003 05:35:15 PM: "No notice was found on her body"
A translation from the one of the files in the referral
packet:
The Development Report of Fu Dekang
Fu Dekang, female, was found by a pedestrian at 9:10pm on
May 15, 2002 at No.2 Xiangzi Street, Fuling District, and
reported to police. The District Patrol Police then sent
her to this orphanage at 10:10pm. She was then wearing a
colorful winter dress. No notice was found on her body.
Fu Dekang was 49cm in height, 3.3kg. in weight, 33cm in
chest, and 34cm in head size when she came to the
orphanage. According to her development, we estimated
that she was just born for 7-8 days, so we decided that
her date of birth should be on May 7, 2002. We named her
Fu Dekang. Fu is the first character of the orphanage,
also means good fortune, blessing and happiness; De is
the virtue of the Chinese nation, also means morals,
kindness and favor; Kang is a pretty name, also means
health and well-being. During the first week in the
orphanage, Fu Dekang’s appetite was normal, she took
about 70ml of formula, and slept about 18 hours a day.
Through the observation, we found that she is a normal
and healthy baby.
Fu Dekang since then has been living and raising in a
collective way that orphanage provided. Caretakers feed
her with formula plus some vitamins. So she is growing
healthily. Her head could follow the moving object when
she was in 3 months old; she could make a laugh when she
was in 4 months. Now her height is 62cm, chest 38cm, head
size 39cm and weight 6.3kg. She can sit with some
support, she babbles, she can hold a toy and play with
her own hand. Her face lighted up when she sees food.
There is always a reason for her to cry and laugh. She is
a cute baby.
Fu Dekang has a routine: she gets up at 7am, noon nap
from 11:30 to 1:30pm and another one at 5 to 5:30 pm, she
goes bed at 8:30pm. She eats 5-6 times a day with 160ml
of formula eat time. She takes first bottle at 6am, then
once every 3-4 hours. She poops 2-3 times and pees 6-8
times a day.
Fu Dekang has a soft skin, very pretty eyes, and a lovely
mouth. She is a quiet, healthy and cute baby. Her shots
are updated. Her physical and mental development is
normal.
Sender: Yang Peishu
Chongqing, Fuling
The First Social Welfare Institute
( Seal )
October 22, 2002
01/02/2003 05:39:28 PM: We have a name
We showed the referral picture to our neighbor’s three
girls yesterday and told them we had picked a first name
but hadn’t decided on a middle name. Within the hour they
provided a neatly typed pink computer document listing all
the names they would like her to have.
In the meantime we changed our minds on the first name. As
of 2:59 today she officially will be named: Claire
Elizabeth Huffman. Hold your applause until the adoption is
finalized.
01/03/2003 05:44:20 PM: Horsing around
Our guide says we’ll go over to China after the Chinese New
Year. This year the New Year is Feb 1, so it looks like we
might travel a few weeks earlier than I anticipated. After
waiting three days to sign the referral paperwork, my wife
pays $23 to overnight the signed packet back our adoption
agency. It doesn’t really matter because the agency can’t
send all of the paperwork back to China until everyone in
the group has returned their signed packets as well.
Little bit of trivia: Claire is born in the year of the
horse: "If you are born in the Year of the Horse then you
are amazingly hard working and very independent. Although
you are intelligent and friendly, you can sometimes be a
bit selfish. Career-wise you would make a good scientist or
poet." Okay maybe Marissa, with her attitude, was born in
the wrong year.
01/04/2003 05:47:16 PM: 7 cent passport photos
I had my wife take several pictures of me in front of a
white wall with our digital camera. We need two passport
photos and three visa photos in order to travel to China,
so I could either have the local camera shop take three
pairs of Polaroid pictures of me (for $30) or I could
photoshop six 2"x2" pictures onto one 39 cent 4"x6" print.
Chris doesn’t trust my ingenuity, so she’s still planning
on overpaying for her picture.
Oh yeah the football team from my alma mater, The Ohio
State University, are national champions. Do OSU T-shirts
come in a size to fit a 10-month-old?
01/05/2003 05:49:00 PM: "And I got a sister for
Christmas..."
Tonight we scanned the referral photos and printed wallet
size pictures on our inkjet printer. Normally we would have
the local camera shop print the photos, but the originals
are from a color copier and not photo quality. Tomorrow is
the first day of the year for my girl’s preschool so we
laminated a couple of pictures and gave them to our girls
to have and to share with their school-mates.
01/06/2003 05:52:59 PM: Care package
There is a
website
for parents who have adopted kids from
Fuling. It is authored by a dedicated mother. On that site,
other pictures of cute little babies, is a list things that
the orphanage would find useful. Tonight Chris packed up
some treats, mittens, toys and a couple of disposable
cameras and will send them off tomorrow with a Chinese
translation telling who they are from. I hope it gets there
before we do.
01/07/2003 05:54:24 PM: Evidently Claire Elizabeth, the
second
Chris keeps in touch with many other moms that have adopted
from China and Vietnam. She subscribes to several Yahoo!
mailing groups and recently added the
Chongqing group. Last Thursday afternoon Chris
sent me e-mail announcing her final choice for our new
daughters name. I agreed. While reviewing the messages on
the Chongqing group, it turns out that another mom had
chosen the same exact name, Claire Elizabeth, the just the
day before. If I were a cynical husband, I might conjecture
that my wife is very suggestible.
01/10/2003 05:56:18 PM: Objects of affection are bigger
than they appear
We got a call from our agency Thursday with up-to-date size
information for Claire. She is 18 lbs and 27 inches. The
biggest of our group of five. She has outgrown her sisters’
hand-me-down infant carrier and Chris is now sifting
through 18-month clothes.
01/13/2003 05:57:43 PM: "Husband correct: News at 11"
Chris saw that my 39 cent passport pictures turned out just
great and so she requested that I take her picture in front
of one of our white walls and do the same for her. I relish
the small vindications; they happen so infrequently.
01/23/2003 06:01:06 PM: Plans set in stone [wall]
We have heard from our adoption agency that we will be
traveling February 28 through March 12. We will fly into
Beijing and the first few days will be set aside for some
sightseeing. I believe we are slated to see a portion of
the Great Wall. We plan to take all three of our girls back
to Asia when they are around 10 years old so that they can
visit and appreciate their country of origin. Evidently you
should take your daughter before reaches the rebellious
teenage years.
Chris FedEx’ed our visa applications along with the
passport pictures. We’ll probably fly out of Chicago, over
the north pole, to Beijing and fly back through Hong Kong.
As I prepared for travel, a good friend offered web
space so I could easily update my log while over in China.
I have since converted the web log back to what you see
here.
02/09/2003 09:31:07 PM: New weblog format
If there are any family, friends, or co-workers out there
actually looking at this web log, I apologize for the long
delay between postings. It is quite laborious to hand-end
entries on the website from my home machine and I am just
now, with the kind loan of CGI-enabled webspace of a
friend, converting my blog over to an open source blog
tool. The look and feel may change over the
next few days.
This web tool will allow me to update the blog with much
less effort (and theoretically on a more frequent basis).
It should also me to post messages while I am over in China
from the hotel. We shall see.
02/10/2003 09:39:52 AM: "You need a receipt"
Like 99% of the children adopted from China, Claire is a
female and was abandoned because of it. This illegal
abandonment is caused by mixing China’s “one child” rule
with a very patriarchal society. We have no idea who her
birthparents are.
When we adopted Katie from China we explained this sad
situation to our 9-year-old neighbor. She understood the
meaning of orphan. She took it to heart so much,
that she decided she wanted to open her own orphanage when
she grew up.
Now my wife is attempting to do some paperwork with our
county’s children services related to our adoption of
Claire. Chris provided a document that proves she has been
abandoned and how the governments of the China and US
handle the situation, but they keep insisting that she
provide a written document from the birthparents
relinquishing their parental rights. They insist this even
we describe the situation and that no one in the world
knows who her birthparents are. (I think leaving a baby in
a box on the street is pretty good indication that she
isn’t wanted.) Our children’s services are quite snippy
about requiring this parental rights document and are
digging their heels in.
It is sad when a 9-year-old understands something that a
woman, who is in charge of insuring the safety other
people’s children, is clueless about.
02/13/2003 04:37:51 PM: Chop Fooey
When we adopted Katie I bought a mahjongg tile set (which I
have yet to learn how to play) and when we adopt Claire, I
want to buy a chop for myself. A chop is a ink stamp
that has your Chinese name on it that you can use for
signing documents. You know, those little square red
blotches you see in the corner of Chinese artwork. Chris
got one for Katie 4 years ago with the name given to her by
the orphanage. I assume she’ll get one for Claire. Well I
want one for myself.
Well the only thing that is holding me back is choosing my
Chinese name. You can either go the phonetic spelling of
your English name or pick a real Chinese name. I don’t know
Chinese names so I was going to try a real Chinese
word. It is hard to pick two words that
describe yourself. What two words would you use to
summarize your life?
I just finished a book, River Town, about a Peace
Corp volunteer who spent two years in Fuling which is my
new daughter’s home town. Very good book. His American
co-worker chose the given name Zhiyuan, which means
"Motivated by Lofty Goals." Evidently some famous poet had
that name. I like that. I don’t know how it is pronounced
and I don’t what the symbol looks like, but I’m going with
it. Now all I need is a last name.
Unfortunately I don’t know what the symbol is for "But
Rarely Attains Them."
02/22/2003 12:54:50 PM: A child for your home
Last week, the high school son of one of our friends came
over to our house to talk to us about adopting. He had been
given the assignment to do a research paper and he, or
perhaps his mother, chose to have his research paper done
on adoption.
He asked how we adopted: we explained it was alot of
paperwork and waiting.
He asked why we adopted: we explained we wanted to have
kids.
He asked why we adopted internationally: we explained
wanted young children without the baggage of custody
hassles common in the US foster system.
There are no custody hassles in China because of their one
child rule. The Communist party settles all parental
problems. I then shared a story with my young
interviewer...
In the "River Town" book I just read, the Peace Corps
volunteer went into the rural Fuling area to spend time
with the locals. Near the end of the book, he recalls
chatting with a few elderly ladies when a little girl
walked up. The ladies indicated that this girl was third
child of a couple. Because the parents were peasants the
local Communist official could not fine them the customary
10,000 Yuan (about $1200 US). But they could not go
unpunished because she was their THIRD child. So instead,
the official tore down their house and left the family
homeless.
Chris said afterward that I shared too much.
02/23/2003 11:10:57 PM: Esteemed by a colleague
Our Chinese-speaking babysitter came over Saturday night so
my wife and I could go on our last date ever. At least the
last date before we have three kids.
I had told her earlier that I needed assistance picking a
Chinese name for my chop. It seems odd that person
should pick his own name and Shiqi (actually goes by her
American name Sabrina) seemed to want me to have a
different name than Zhiyuan, the one I initially
picked for myself. She picked a name that initially made me
self conscious. A name too hard to live up to. But... I got
over it.
So my chop will read Fu Jingyan. The surname,
Fu, matches the Chinese name given Claire. This time
the father inherits his name from his daughter. Claire was
given that name because she was found in the city of
Fuling. It also means "good fortune." My given name,
Jingyan, means "Esteemed and elegant." I can live
with that even though I still believe she is being quite
charitable.
02/24/2003 11:05:04 PM: The past versus the future
Chris just got a book out of the library: Before the
Deluge: The Vanishing World of the Yangtze’s Three
Gorges by Deirdre Chetham. It talks about the culture
in the area where Claire was found and in a few years, much
of it will be under water. The massive Three Gorges Dam
will raise the water level 350 feet and displace over a
million people.
Her hometown of Fuling, like like many cities along the
river, contains ancient artifacts that will be lost to the
rising river. The oldest known engraving along the river is
in Fuling and is from the Tang Dynasty (over a thousand
years ago). It served as a low-watermark marker to passing
boats. It has over 30,000 characters in inscriptions and it
has two engraved fish who eyes appear to be open when the
water is deep enough for navigation. Because it is
extremely hard to relocate these artifacts, only a very
small portion will be removed for preservation.
Outside of China, critics worldwide see the dam is a social
and environmental disaster. To the People’s party is a way
to harness electricity and to prevent the seasonal floods
that occur downstream.
Enough voices of dissention were raised during the planning
of the dam, that the Chinese government eventually made it
unlawful to speak out against it. So no one does anymore
(at least in public).
In last Sunday’s paper I read that they are planning on
another large public works project. This time they want to
re-route rivers from the south of China to the arid
northern regions. Evidently it has too be done. More
nature will probably be destroyed, more lives will be
disrupted. Perhaps they will need to quell the voices of
opposition again.
02/27/2003 05:11:30 PM: We are outta here
We leave tomorrow morning for Beijing, by way of Chicago.
Last weekend we had take out Chinese food. My fortune said
"Have a good trip." Cool.
Our itinerary is:
March 1-3: Beijing, Sightseeing
March 4-7: Chongqing (biggest city near Claire’s hometown),
Adopting
March 8-11: Guangzhou, Pushing paperwork through INS
March 12: Flight home via Hong Kong and O’Hare.
Stay tuned to this web address. If I can snag Internet
access from within China (hotel business centers? Internet
cafes?), I will post messages of our travails.
03/01/2003 06:38:45 PM: But don’t call it smog
The Kuzma’s arrived in the nick of time to board the
Columbus to Chicago flight (about 15 minutes after the
boarding started). The flight from Chicago to China went
north to the Gulf of Boothia then west to
Verkhoysomething (In Siberia) then south to Beijing.
It was an uneventful flight, although we were half
expecting problems with Abby, the four-year-old daughter of
the Schaeffer’s, because she had an ear infection and there
were several air pressure changes.
The Kuzma’s bought and brought a brand new laptop with a
DVD drive to entertain their five-year-old Kori during the
flight. Unfortunately its battery was fully discharged and
they never had the opportunity to buy spaces. Kori was fine
anyway.
Kori hangs with Zhou, our guide, probably because she has
realized that the two of them (being Asian) are the only
ones in our group who look like they belong here. Kori,
probably because she is so tied, made a brief angry comment
that she thought she was in China being replaced with their
second child.
After a tiring first day, the preschoolers crashed in the
hotel with their mothers while everyone else went out
walking and shopping in downtown Beijing. Zhou said the
haze in the air is fog, but he is being charitable, as it
is a fog that never lifts in this dry city and it smells of
burnt soot.
We all brought bottled drinking water because the tap water
in Beijing isn’t potable unless you boil it. Could be due
to some of that "fog." :-) Chris considered buying a fake
Rolex for $30. Kenny Kuzma bought a Chairman Mao watch (his
hand waves a red book) for $3. We all passed up the
"scorpions on a stick" for dinner from several street
vendors.
Chris bought a few trinkets (more than anyone else) and she
insisted on staying at the mall alone while everyone else
went back to the hotel. In our hotel lobby when we got back
was a large group of French?/Spanish? parents with newly
adopted infants. Most held their babies in one arm while a
cigarette was at the end of the other.
Then Kenny and I did a quick run to McDonalds right before
calling it a day.
03/02/2003 06:51:35 PM: Touring
We did touristy things today. We walked a portion of the
Great Wall at Badaling. (Do you gentle readers have maps
handy? :-) ) The camcorder freaked out briefly but seems to
have recovered. On the way back to the entrance, a stranger
trapped me and indicated he wanted to take his picture with
me. I guess that makes me a celebrity.
There were little kiosks near the entrance and we spent
time shopping there. It was cold so some of us bought
scarves and gloves. All the vendor’s call out "Hello"s to
grab our attention. They were quite assertive. A "Hello" is
also Chinese slang for an American. When Chris bought a
calligraphy set from one of the vendors, the proprietor
wouldn’t return change for her large bill until after she
spend another ten minutes badgering Chris (unsuccessfully)
into buying something else.
After the Wall, we visited a cloisonné factory. Very
beautiful handiwork.
A Friendship Store (department store chain) was adjacent to
the factory and we had lunch and shopped there. There were
about 2 saleswomen per customer and they would follow us
around: sometimes helpful but usually annoying. Ken Kuzma
and Robbie (another dad) bought embroidery painting.
Beautiful artwork but they are now in a pickle because they
are too big to pack with the luggage and it is quite
expensive to ship them home.
Our last group stop of the day was at the Yong He Gong
temple. It is the biggest Tibetan Buddhist Lama Temple in
Beijing. They had a live dance routine in the courtyard
when we arrived. There are dozens of buildings in the
compound, most of them built in 1694. All the ones we went
into had large golden Buddas in them. The largest of which
was 59 feet tall; so large in fact that they had to erect
the building around the statue. It in is the Guinness book
of world records. The two preschoolers were asleep during
most of the temple tour. I guess they’ll have to surf to
YongHeGong.net [broken link] when they get
home to see what they missed.
After the group retired for the day, Jane, her husband,
Kori, Chris and I retraced our Beijing shopping steps of
the previous night as darkness fell. Ken took pictures of
Squid, beetle, frog shiskabob (spelling?). The women bought
more stuff (surprise, surprise). Strangers, not just
vendors, would strike up conversations with us to practice
their English skills.
We went to a toy store to reward Kori for being a good
sport. At the end of one of the toy aisles was a "Homo, my
friend" toy display under Plexiglas. It was a large silver
robot. Kori sensing an opportunity, picked out the largest
transformer/robot she could find (see Jane’s previous
posting with a picture). She didn’t go for the Homo. Ken
Kuzma sensing impending doom searched for a suitcase to
transport the robot and his framed painting.
After coming back to the hotel, we split up. Ken Kuzma and
Kori went to McDonald’s for sustenance again, Chris took a
nap, while Jane and I nerded up by transferring her
camera’s pictures to her computer and posting a few of them
here.
We met the mother of our babysitter (Sabrina) and one of
the secretaries from her workplace in Beijing. She hasn’t
seen her daughter in years. So we shared pictures and
gifts. We videotaped a message from her to her daughter and
we will courier some items back to Sabrina at home.
Another long day. We fly to Chongqing later today.
03/04/2003 02:11:13 AM: Onto Chongqing
On the morning of the 3rd, we visited Tianamen Square. The
temperature was in the 20s with a very stiff breeze.
We walked from the Mao’s tomb end of the square to other
where the Imperial Palace (a.k.a. Forbidden City) was
located. The walled city is one anteroom and courtyard
after another. None of the buildings were open to foot
traffic but you could peer into the front archways of each
of them. After awhile all the buildings looked the same.
The bus met us at the other end of long walk and we were
then onto the Jiang Nan silk museum. After walking outside
in the cold all morning it was good to be inside. Here is
an interesting tidbit for your next casual conversation
about moths: one cocoon yields a 1000 meter strand. We
helped them make a silk comforter, and we saw a young lady
making a silk carpet. Three months into it, her carpet was
about 9 inches into a 4 foot carpet. She had another nine
months to go. But again it was 10% factory and 90% shopping
opportunity. There were quilts, ties, shirts, embroidery.
The Wakser girls bought two carpets and the salesgirl lit a
flame to them to prove it was real silk.
Lunch was at the Hard Rock Cafe. In big gold letters was
their motto: "no drugs and nuclear weapons allowed."
Shouldn’t that conjunction be "or?" Perhaps you can carry
in weapons if you are not under the influence.
In Beijing, the National Committee of the Chinese People
was opening their annual Political Consultative Conference.
It was a holiday (even for those not party to the party
party), and the few days of idle industrial complexes were
causing the air to clear just as we were leaving the city.
At the security station at the airport they had you drink
from your carry-on bottles. We had 5 bottles and had to
open and drink from them all. Zhou did not want to open and
drink from his two wine bottles, so he had to go back and
check them. He found the practice understandably annoying.
Despite Jane’s best efforts the world’s largest toy robot
made it through security intact. Ken was planning on
tossing it if it became a burden.
The tray table on the plane to Chongqing has the warning
"don’t use computer and play computer game when taking-off,
landing, or taxiing." I guess word processing during
takeoff is safer.
Chongqing is one of China’s most polluted cities, but it is
warmer. We went from below freezing to upper 50s. There
were beautiful terraced rice paddies along the route to the
hotel, but the smog ruined the pictures Chris tried to
take.
In the evening Zhou fetched some paperwork from the
principality, one half each couple met in the hotel’s
business center at 9pm and signed documents for the
government. Names and addresses on about a half dozen
documents we couldn’t read. We all got to look at updated
passport photos of our girls. They all have hair now.
We went from the best bed ever (down comforter and pillows)
to the worst bed. For the next three nights all of us will
be sleeping on the hardest mattress known to man. It will
not compress even when I stand on it. Most of us have been
waking up at 3am anyway. (The preceding sentence was
written on my PDA at 3:55am while I stare up at the ceiling
of a dark room.)
While Internet access from this hotel’s business center is
expensive ($17 per hour), the hotel offers a dial up ISP
for $1.50 an hour in the room. It looks like I’ll be
overstaying my welcome in the Kuzma’s suite with the
laptop.
03/05/2003 03:09:48 AM: Gotcha day
I want to welcome new visitors back home to this web log.
These messages are posted in reverse chronological order so
you might want to click on the "February" link to get my
postings from the beginning of the trip. I don’t know how
many people are hitting this site, but I think all the
families are plugged in now.
Tuesday was gotcha day. After a fine breakfast, were off to
the local constabulary. The Chongqing office for
Sino-Foreign Adoption was new and nicely furnished. The
office was on the second floor and we had to walk through a
liquor store to get there. They led us to a private room
with lots of new sofas where the girls already were. They
were all dressed in nice new heavy yellow and red outfits
with matching shoes. Only one of Claire’s shoes fit. In the
original referral pictures all our girls pictures were
taken in the same white with red outfit and a fake apple in
their lap. With a pen, Kori colored in the hair of her
little sister’s referral picture a month ago. Looks like
her wish came true.
Almost all the girls have little colds. We’ve already made
her first pediatrician appointment for the Monday following
our return. From past history from other adoptive parents,
the lab work for most Fuling babies often indicates slight
anemia: possibly from the horrible pollution or the
giardiasis that is endemic to the area, but aside from
runny noses they all seemed healthy.
We met the orphanage director and got conflicting
directions on how they liked their formula prepared. They
also prepared bottles for us on the spot, but aside from
Hannah, most were not hungry. They gave us dry formula to
take back to the hotel.
The local commissioner from the office gave a very nice
speech (Zhou translated) about the girls being little
ambassadors between our two countries. They took pictures
of the families for their records and of course we took
lots of pictures and videos ourselves.
After about two hours we packed up our things and walked
out past the standing "Have a happy life in the future"
sign. On the street while waiting for the bus, a liquor
store neighbor brought out her child to share and a small
crowd gathered. We ended up walking to the bus and got
quite a few stares along the street. Westerners are not
common in this city in the middle of China.
Back at the hotel we were congratulated by the staff. They
asked if Claire, who is the biggest baby of the group, was
a boy.
We all settled into our rooms we changed them out of their
very warm outfits. I’m sure they were all sweating like
Claire was. After half a day, her diaper was full. Claire
did not like to be changed. They were wearing split pants
underneath their coats. Children do not wear diapers in
China; instead they go around (even outside) in crotch-less
pants with no underwear so they can just squat and go
anywhere.
Claire does not like to be put down. She will cry unless
she is in either mommy or daddy’s arms. Chris was the
primary caregiver while I posted yesterday’s pictures. I
became the primary caregiver when she, along with half of
each couple, went grocery shopping for more diapers and
formula. Chris reports the locals weren’t as friendly as
earlier.
Zhou asked to borrow our airline tickets to Guangzhou. He
needs proof that we need the children’s passports in short
order. Normally it takes a week to get passports, but we
need them in two days for identification at the airport.
You know, each time we do this (this is our third adoption)
the process seems to get smoother.
With many attempts, Chris finally figured out how to calm
Claire when in the crib alone. Her bed is an inch think
wood lattice frame covered with a blanket folded over for
padding. It is a tad softer than our bed. My wife and new
daughter are sleeping sounder than I am (it is 4am as I
type in bed).
03/06/2003 03:52:56 AM: Walking around Chongqing
As it is overdue, I probably should be introducing the cast
of characters on this trip. In addition the Zhou, our guide
and the Kuzma’s which I’ve been talking about all along,
there are the Ed, Linnette and toddler Abby Schaeffer
adopting Lara. Robby Blanton from Georgia adopting Hannah.
A good friend Lynn is along because his wife Donna is at
home with their 4 month old. Melanie Wakser is adopting
Emma along with her mother Carole because her husband Scott
is at home in Canton with their 9, 7, 5 and 3 year-old
sons.
With Wednesday being the first full day with the girls,
Zhou planned for it to be a day without any group trips. He
did however give some of us a brief walking tour the
surrounding blocks for some necessities. The Waksers,
Kuzmas and we had mailed disposable cameras to the
orphanage after getting the referral. They had been
returned to us yesterday and we wanted to have the pictures
developed.
Robby wanted to go to the photo shop too because he was
trying to download images off his digital camera, but was
having no luck at the hotel business center without the
proper Windows driver installed. Unfortunately we all have
different flash media formats, and the shop seemed to
support all of them except Robby’s relatively new type.
Along the route, Zhou showed us the Internet Cafe. The
price was right (25 cents an hour) and he and Carole were
able to send some messages, but the process of signing up
for a terminal was never really explained to us so we’d be
lost without him if we ever came back. Robby again had no
luck because these Windows 98 machines didn’t have USB
ports.
Back at the hotel, Claire and I watched a little CNN while
Chris went out for some pictures. When the anchor was
introducing a story about North Koreans fleeing hardships
into China, the screen went blank after about 10 seconds. 2
minutes later the picture came back and they had moved onto
the weather. The Chinese were filtering the broadcast just
like the Great Firewall of China that blocks access to
CNN’s website.
Melanie, Chris, and I later went to pick up film with our
two babies in Snuggli’s. On the way back we strolled the
area. Chris took pictures of the locals and the digital
camera, with its LCD viewfinder, was an ice breaker.
Along the street are vendors with very small storefronts.
On average perhaps 8 feet by 8 feet. Melanie and Chris
stopped into a few of them with children’s apparel. A store
had little shoes similar to the ones the girls had when
adopted so Chris inquired about the price. The saleswoman,
sensing a P.T. Barnum moment, offered to sell them to us
for 624 Yuan (about $80). When she saw our amazement, she
came back with 58 Yuan (about $7). We walked away at that
still inflated price.
A 22-year-old local art student, who had given herself the
English name Sally, struck up a conversation with us as we
walked. She wanted to practice her conversational English
which was already quite excellent. The English language is
compulsory in Chinese universities now. She mentioned our
girls surname, Fu, means lucky. We talked about our large
Ohio families and China’s one child rule. I shared pictures
of our girls and gave her my business card. She accepted it
in the Chinese way: she held it in two cupped hands and
studied it for a several seconds out of respect.
She mentioned the NY times bestseller River Town
book I’ve written about in this journal over the last
month. It is banned in China, because it is not always
complimentary to the country. While circling the block, a
few other women stopped us to peek at the girls. Quickly a
group formed around us of about a dozen. Soon they were all
talking over one another bombarding our young translator
with questions. One bystander commented that our baby has
her new mother’s light complexion.
Within a block of the hotel I found a souvenir: bootleg
DVDs. Movies that are still in theatres back in the states
are available for $2.50. Melanie and I bought "Chicago" and
Chris bought a few more. Telltale signs of a bootleg were
sHIFT lOCK sENTENCES and a quote from a critic on the back
cover that was negative: "Frankly, you won’t be
all that jazzed." - Stella Papamichael How’s that
for enticing you to buy the DVD?
One of the other adoptive parents traveled with her own
mother. She contribute an entry describing the
orphanage.
03/06/2003 06:22:17 AM: Trip to Fuling [Posted by Carole]
Today we went to the orphanage where the babies came from.
There are approximately 200 children in the orphanage. Most
of the children were under 1 year and all but one were
girls.
It was very clean and you could tell the caregivers were
very good to the children. They were very happy to see the
little ones that we brought back. Emma was very happy to
see one of her caregivers and it was the first time she
wasn’t anxious to go back to Melanie. She has really bonded
with her, and when Mel moves out of her sight she starts to
cry. Grandma doesn’t count so much.
This trip has been exceptional, we’re tired from the moving
around, flying and of course dealing with babies in a hotel
room for 3 days. Tomorrow we go to Guangzhou and the legal
forms will be submitted to the government. Today the
parents got the passports for their babies, Emma’s picture
is very cute as I’m sure most of them are.
The babies are so precious and so fortunate to be going to
good homes. I believe that most of the babies in the
orphanage that are under 1 year old will be adopted and
almost all will go out of China. The US has the largest
percentage of adoptions, but they go all over the western
world.
Check out the pictures that Ken has posted.
Love to All,
Carole
03/08/2003 12:20:32 AM: Onto Guangzhou
Read Carole’s note on the Fuling orphanage as I’m not going
to write as much on it as I usually do. It was a moving
experience for us all. It was neat and clean, but they are
clearly understaffed. The director reported that none of
her children are adopted by Chinese parents. They had
vinegar steaming in the crib room to cut down on the smell.
To keep them active, with the high baby/caregiver ratio,
they put them in mobile walkers, the kind that are illegal
in the U.S. because they can roll down stairs so easily. In
the doorways of each doorway they have a wooden pole to
prevent the children from rolling into an adjacent room.
One girl gravitated towards my pants leg, just to touch
someone else. She smiled when I put out my hand.
We put Claire back in her crib one last time for a picture
with her caregiver. Chris was hoping for some clothes or
other accoutrements of her abandonment, but there were
none. They always put an ad in the local paper now just in
case the mother or father changed their mind after
abandoning her. Chris was hoping for that newspaper
clipping, but the director said she didn’t have it. Chris
also wanted to visit the abandonment location so she could
take pictures and have something to show Claire
later, but again the director reported that all the
abandonment sites were now underwater (due to the dam). I
don’t know if that was an accurate or just convenient
answer from her. Chris was understandably upset that she
knows so very little of Claire’s past.
The 7th, before our flight to Guangzhou, some of us did
more shopping (I know that comes as a surprise). Chris got
maps of the province for everyone. Many people got more
bootleg DVDs, which was right next to the pet shop with the
dogs with lavender or yellow dyed ears. Perhaps if they had
dyed Claire’s hair purple, someone in China would have
adopted her.
All the babies have personalities. Claire is the wiggly
one. Hannah is the hungry (and biggest) one. Emma is the
sleepy one. Roxanne is the fussy one. Lara is the easy
going one (kinda like her big sister).
We have been drawing stares everywhere we go in Chongqing.
Westerners are rare. Only a few of those stares are unkind.
One older man was very upset, but I don’t know if that was
because his countrymen were abandoning baby girls or that
foreigners were adopting them. I am typing this in a tiny
Internet cafe (
www.henan-ebs.com) in Guangzhou. A Chinese boy
being adopted by an American was just wheeled in the room.
He is was abandoned because he has a cleft palate.
On the way out of Chongqing, we briefly visited the main
municipal building. It was a round building in the
traditional Chinese architecture.
We are accumulating luggage. A few will finally break down
and buy big suitcases. The wait at the check-in counter at
the Chongqing airport was forever. The ticket agent
initially thought we had 10 babies. I might have taken less
time to adopt five more than it took to correct the
situation.
When the boarding for the flight was announced, everyone
rushed to the gate. Despite the posted sign, there was no
deference to the families traveling with infants. It wasn’t
even afforded to Chinese parents with children. Our group
was the last to board.
Even though no other planes were taking off or landing, the
wait on the tarmac was long too. The girls were cranky
until the plane took off. Claire, like most of the girls
slept to the rumble of the motor. Chris who came down with
flu-like symptoms, slept in the unoccupied back of the
plane.
True to form, the locals rushed past us and wouldn’t let
the non-aggressive foreigners into the aisle when the plane
landed. Our little group was a little miffed to be the last
to disembark once again. To borrow a communist phrase, this
is airline travel "with Chinese Characteristics."
We are now at the Victory Hotel. There are actually two
Victory Hotels near each other. We are in the original (but
remodeled) one, not in the newer one we stayed in last time
we were here. The note for guests of the hotel room says
"no fighting, no drinking, and no distwrling." Any guesses
on that last word? The original hotel has larger rooms, but
we have to walk to the other hotel if we want to take
advantage of the complimentary breakfast vouchers. While it
doesn’t bother the Kuzma’s or me, others were hoping for an
American-style breakfast this morning and will probably
seek out breakfast at the luxurious White Swan hotel.
Right next to the entrance to the hotel, there is a
convenience store. I finally found a diet, caffeine-free
drink for Chris. Guangzhou is, like last time, quite
accessible to foreigners. We don’t get the stares here
because every American adopting has to spend the better
part of the week in Guangzhou and we are within walking
distance of the U.S. consulate.
Still feeling down, Chris slept into today while I had
breakfast and played single dad when we went for the
babies’ visa photos and medical exams. Claire is 19.5 lbs,
and 29 inches. It was a madhouse both at the cramped photo
shop and the medical center. We stood in three queues at
the center. One weighed the girls (it took about a minute),
another was a cursory Ears/Nose/Throat check-up (3
minutes), and the last checked the chest with a stethoscope
(maybe 8 minutes). Tack on another several minutes waiting
in line. I think all the babies were out in 30 minutes,
despite a crowd of easily 50 families coming and going in
the office.
We all left on our own to go back to the hotel when we were
done. My stroller broke down right as I was leaving the
office. Claire was crying as I struggled to repair it.
Strangers were telling me that she, in her fleece coat,
sweater, and outfit, was cold in the 60 degree weather and
were buttoning the last of her buttons. When I noticed that
the strap was broken too, I just picked Claire up (her
crying stopped immediately) and dragged the stroller home.
So the next 17 years will be downhill from here, right?
03/10/2003 09:19:48 AM: The Consulate
Yesterday (Sunday), I got a new stroller. Claire still
doesn’t like it even though she no longer submarines out of
it. Otherwise she smiles easily and frequently and sometime
shakes her head back and forth at the same time for happy
emphasis.
Roxanne is now much calmer having broken in her big sister.
The babies are eating steamed eggs which appear to be a
cross between scrambled and poached eggs. They are also
eating congee (rice gruel). Lara is taking jar baby food.
Emma has the Cheerios thing down. Some of us are still
adjusting the formula for proper (ahem) bodily functions.
More shopping Sunday. yada, yada, yada.
There is an ex-patriot American here running a
bagel and
pizza delivery service. It seems to be the most
convenient way of ordering American food. It has become
quite a crutch.
Our family skipped the Guangzhou museum and the jade market
because we were there
four years
ago. So I stayed in the hotel room watching Claire
shred my now two week old Newsweek in her crib as she and
Chris went down for a nap.
I helped Carole exchange money (which was harder than it
should have been). On the way to the bank, some high school
advanced English students were asking us questions to
practice their English. On the way back to hotel, they
stopped us again not realizing they had already stopped us.
I guess we all look alike.
We have Claire’s chop. It has her orphanage name in
Chinese and roman letters as well as her new American name.
I finally have my long-eared rabbit chop as well (I was
born in the year of the rabbit). The rabbit carving is atop
a small block of marble and carved into the oval bottom is
my recently chosen Chinese name. The saleslady, initially
humored that an adoptive father would choose a Chinese
name, did ask me who picked it out for me. She did seem to
like the name though (thank you Shiqi).
Late Sunday afternoon, We all met Zhou in one of the
hotel’s conference rooms to finish the last of the
pre-immigration INS paperwork. There are a few new forms
but the never-ending I-864 thankfully wasn’t one of them.
That form is to prove that you are above 150% of the
poverty line. Believe me, you’d be nuts to do this if your
income were near that level. As the parents without spouses
present are petitioning for a slightly different status
than the rest of us, they still had to complete the form.
One of the new forms is a checklist of all the other dozen
or so pieces of documentation necessary for the INS (birth,
abandonment, adoption, etc. certificates) The packet for
submission on Monday is about an inch thick for all of us.
Zhou has put each in a large plastic folder.
Zhou spent Sunday evening double checking all the
paperwork. He came by my room because the photocopy that he
had of my passport didn’t show my face very well. He ran to
get another copy for the government. He is such the
righteous dude.
Chris, obviously feeling better, went late night shopping
with a few others while I put Claire to bed.
Monday, my little family went shopping at the foot of the
White Swan hotel in the morning. The White Swan is the 5
star hotel that is adjacent to the U.S. Consulate. Very
expensive items are for sale in their expansive lobby. It
is Adoption Mecca. About half the shops that surround the
hotel offer laundry service because the prices at the hotel
are pretty steep. In season, a small room at the White Swan
runs around $300.
My souvenir (other that the chop) is a small Chinese Chess
set. It looks to be a cross between checkers and chess that
we all know. I saw many people playing it in the farmer’s
market over here. Now all I have to do is figure out to
play it myself. This will go with the Mahjongg set I bought
when we adopted Katie.
For the early afternoon, the other Ken and I swapped
spouses. I had lunch with Jane, Kori, Roxanne, and Claire
at the White Swan, while Chris and Ken went back to the
jade market. Evidently Zhou went through the market so
quickly that there was no time to shop yesterday.
Our appointment with the INS was at 4pm Monday (today). No
camera, camcorders, strollers or backpacks were allowed at
the consulate. After a security check, they filed about 70
families into a room that would have been crowded for about
20 of them. All of us presented photocopies of the
families’ passports to verify our presence. Unlike last
time, there was no queuing for an interview. The interview
was silly anyway because we had already presented all the
requisite information in forms already. A single INS agent
got in front of all of us and said he wanted to keep the
meeting short and sweet. "Congratulations for making it
through the most bureaucratic process in the world."
Chuckles. "Would you all raise your right hands? Do you
swear that all the information you have provided is
correct?" There was a resounding "YES!" from everyone in
response. "Have a safe flight home." We were done.
We relinquished the babies’ passports to Zhou so he can
pick up the sealed Visa packets tomorrow. We will courier
them over to Chicago and the immigration officers there
will open them and hand us the green their green cards.
We went to the Hard Rock Cafe to celebrate. Zhou had
prearranged 5 high chairs with teddy bears and ballons at
each one.
I had one last entry, but never posted it to the web log
because it was quite some time before I had the free time
to submit it. Here it is, just for you.
03/21/2003 6:56:04 PM: Final thoughts
According to a law passed by the U.S. Congress a couple of
years ago, our daughters are now U.S. citizens, just like
they would have been had they been born from their new
mothers. Unfortunately the INS still has yet to understand
the spirit of that law. The pictures we took of the girls
at the photo shop were 3/4 profile which means the INS will
brand them permanent residents and put the picture on their
green cards. Because they are already citizens, we should
have taken straight on headshots and the INS should have
given them U.S. Passports.
As we left the consulate, we passed the queue of Chinese
nationals attempting to get entrance visas. Today’s line
had hundreds of people and it wrapped around the building.
Jane and I completed the last of our e-mails and postings
at 10:50 last night (10 min before the Internet cafe
closed). We weren’t the last to leave. The cafe was the
size of two of my co-workers cubicles put together.
We visited the Yuntai Garden and the White Cloud Mountain
and its bird sanctuary in Guangzhou the day before we left.
All during our trip strangers would walk up to Abby and
touch her unusual curly auburn hair. On this last day it
was still annoying for her.
My wife had been holding out on me: she produced a
medium-sized, garnet duffel. We had plenty of space to
stash her purchases. Three other families bought even
larger pieces of luggage. We left the hotel at 7am to brave
the airport crowds. In the check-in line next to us, a
couple of other passengers we attempting to check-in the
largest bags I have ever seen. The airline worker refused
to allow them to check the bags because the weight of each
exceeded 50kg. For the metric impaired, it means the bags
were more than 110 pounds.
On the way home, we left Claire’s toys on the plane that
landed in Chicago. While they were cheap trinkets, Chris
was disappointed because they had been shipped to her at
the orphanage a month before she met us.
Zhou went back to China two weeks later with eight more
families.
03/22/2003 12:15:56 PM: We’re moving