“To laugh often and much,
To win the respect of intelligent people
And the affection of children,
To earn the appreciation of honest critics
And to endure the betrayal of false friends,
To appreciate beauty,
To find the best of others,
To leave the world a bit better,
Whether by a healthy child, a garden patch
Or a redeemed social condition,
To know that even one life has breathed
Better because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.”

“In matters of style, swim with the current.
In matters of substance, stand like a rock.”

“A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of small minds.”

“From what we get, we can make a living;
what we give, however, makes a life.”

“The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is comprehensible.”

“The world is divided into people who do things and people who get the credit. Try, if you can, to belong to the first class. There’s far less competition.”

“You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers.
You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions.”

“I do not believe it useful to generalize opinions, to teach admirations. It is for each man to procure himself the emotions he needs and the morality which suits him.”

“My wife and I have a perfect understanding. I don’t try to run her life, and I don’t try to run mine.”

“Outside a dog, a book is man’s best friend.
Inside a dog, it’s too dark to read.”

“When the tweedle beetles battle with their paddles in a bottle full of water on a noodle-eating poodle, it’s a tweedle beetle noodle poodle water bottle paddle battle.”

“Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.”

“Men have become the tools of their tools.”

“Technology: the act of so arranging the world that we do not have to experience it.”

“We are becoming the servants in thought, as in action, of the machine we have created to serve us.”

“All parts should go together without forcing. You must remember that the parts you are reassembling were disassembled by you. Therefore, if you can’t get them together again, there must be a reason. By all means, do not use a hammer.”

“The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.”

“There are two ways of constructing a software design. One way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiences.”

“The newest computer can merely compound, at speed, the oldest problem in relations between human beings, and in the end the communicator will be confronted with the old problem, of what to say and how to say it.”

“The other major type of computer is the ‘Apple,’ which I do not recommend, because it is a wuss-o-rama New-Age computer that you basically just plug in and use.”

“The Linux philosophy is ‘Laugh in the face of danger.’ Oops. Wrong one. ‘Do it yourself.’ That’s it.”

“hello/ computer support/ my shift key is broken.”